My teeth
got progressively worse. There were more cavities. Teeth started
crumbling away and breaking off at gum level. Abscesses were
regular occurrences and often lasted for several days swelling
the side of my face.
The constant pain was almost unbearable but still my fears prevented
me from seeking help. I would take painkillers like they were
sweets but still I could not go to the dentists because of my
unconscious fears. I tried various ways to pull the offending
teeth out to try to stop the pain - failing miserably and making
the situation worse.
With a phobia
the fear far outweighs the threat but the sufferer often has
little control over their reactions. My rational thoughts told
me that the pain, I currently felt, could not be anywhere near
as bad as any pain I may experience having dental treatment.
My unconscious mind did not agree ... the fear won. It has been
said, "When it hurts enough people will go to the dentist."
This certainly does not hold true if you are a dental phobic!!
Now, not
only were my fears stopping me from going to the dentists I
was also ashamed of the way my teeth looked. I thought that
the dentist would never have seen teeth as bad as mine and I
knew, from past experiences, they would never understand. Once
again they would rebuff me and make me feel small and dirty
for the way I had let my teeth deteriorate.
It is amazing
how our minds work when we are limited by our own beliefs and
lack of knowledge. For example, as several of my back teeth
had broken at gum level, and the gums had swollen around them,
I thought the only way to deal with the problem was to cut the
gums open to get all the bits out. This did not help the situation
at all and just served to re-enforce the fear which now controlled
my life.
Eating started
to get to be a problem as well. It is difficult to chew food
when the main biting teeth are rotting away. I would tend to
chew on one side of my mouth until that caused pain. Then I
would use the other side. Eventually that too would start to
hurt and the only options open to me were to nibble in the middle,
or only eat soft food, until the pain went away.
I was always
conscious about the state of my teeth. When speaking to people
my hand would be strategically placed in front of my mouth to
hide them. I also very rarely smiled, as this would reveal my
teeth. So not only did I feel miserable I also looked it.
Frequently
I would have nightmares about teeth and often woke with broken
bits of teeth in my mouth.
The state of my teeth also prevented me from visiting a doctor
especially if I thought there was the remotest chance he might
want to look in my mouth.
All of these
factors compounded my fears, and of course I was the only one
that felt this way!! If you are unfortunate enough to suffer
from dental phobia maybe you will know what I mean.
The situation
was getting progressively worse. Not only was my physical health
suffering. I had also lost my self-confidence and my self-esteem
and had started to experience panic attacks. I was unable to
see any way out and it was difficult to seek help because I
was too ashamed of admitting to others how I felt. My life was
so out of control and I felt isolated and alone.
Eventually
I came to the "crossroads" in my life and realised
something must be done. I could not continue to suffer in this
way. About a year previous to this I had read an article in
the Derby Evening Telegraph about a dentist who had dealt with
people just like me and I decided to see if he could help me.
Now, I thought was the time to regain control of my life. It
was a difficult decision to make but, eventually, it turned
out to be one of the best things I could have done.
I was soon
to realise that not all dentists were apprenticed to the Marquis
De Sade. I had found one who did actually care and realised
there was a person behind the teeth. I was treated with care,
understanding and was never made to feel small.
My treatment
was taken one step at a time and I was never pushed beyond my
own limits. Slowly but surely my treatment progressed and I
started to feel better about myself. Every success I had help
to re-build my confidence. I began to understand just how much
my own mind had distorted my thinking about dentists.
How distorted
was my thinking? Well:
Throughout
all of my treatment I only experienced a slight pain once
and that only lasted about one second.
The bits
of tooth were the easiest to get out. My gums did not need
to be cut.
The Dentist
had seen teeth worse than mine.
The Dentist
did not make me feel dirty, stupid or rebuff me for the state
of my teeth.
I was
not the only one who had such fears
With hindsight
I could have save myself lots of pain, discomfort and suffering.
I only hope this account of my own experiences provides "hindsight"
for any other people who are experiencing similar problems and
provides the impetus to enable them to take the steps needed
to beat "the fear"
Please don't let your lives be controlled by past experiences
as I did. We all have the resources within us to enable us to
find the right way for us to deal with the problem.
It can be
done and the fear really does far outweigh the threat in a big
way. Once you face the fear you can see it for what it is and
defeat it.
Andrew Solecki B.Sc.hons is the founder of and runs Beyond Fear the web site dedicated to beating dental anxiety, fear or phobia. He has appeared on UK National TV and has been interviewed, several times, on local radio stations about Beyond Fear and the work he does to help people overcome their dental phobia. He is an accredited Life Coach, a Reiki Master/Teacher, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and AAMET Level 2 Practitioner, EFT Coach and Therapist . He is passionate about helping people unlock their true potential empowering them to become all the are capable of becoming